This isn’t about what you think it is…
Ok, it is, but not exactly. I am sure you are aware of the grossly sexed-up instrument ads that feature buxom bikini blonds selling you the latest guitar, amp, or pedal FX. Like this ad for example. ‘Cause you know, nothing says this thing is awesome than double DDs in your face. Much like car ads with waify models spread upon them, or beer ads that proclaim you will get laid by this hot babe if you down this particular ale, advertising relies heavily on sexualized and objectified (heterosexual) feminine bodies to persuade you to buy their product. See Gender Ads for a complete work on the subject.
However, this post isn’t exactly about that. It’s about breasts, yes, but about those players who actually have them and play the instrument, not merely are advertising tools.
Anyways, so what do I mean? Well, as a guitar player, who is quite endowed on the top half, just simply playing your guitar can be uncomfortable and require some adjustments. Unless you can literally play your guitar so low that it hits your knees, you probably need to wear your guitar somewhere around your hips to waist. If you have double DDs for example, the guitar strap either has to squeeze right in between your breasts, or over one of them, causing a bit of a squish, if you will. Your breasts then are either extremely obvious with the guitar strap nestled in between them as you play, or, your breast hurts because it is being suffocated as you belt out how much you love rock and roll. It’s tough being a girl, and all we wanna do is have fun. (Sorry, couldn’t resist that.)
Ok, you say. So, why don’t you just play sitting down then? Great question! Similar problem. Consider acoustic guitars for example. You know the classic dreadnought shape, and most are quite sizable. They usually have to be to get rich tone. Sit down with one as a large-breasted woman, and again, adjustments are needed. You can either hold the guitar in front of you, covering your top, but yet again, squishing as you lean over to play, or as I have done before, try to fandangle one breast to sit in the curve of the guitar and the other behind it. Ok, it’s not the most rockstar pose. Frankly it’s weird, annoying, and again, makes playing your instrument while having to worry about how you appear painfully obvious.
It’s bad enough that women as performers have to be constantly aware of their appearance, both sexually and physically, without then having to worry if they can play their instrument without more googley-eyed stares. Looks come before talent in much of our culture, and female artists have to balance between their own personal desires when it comes to their appearance, and what everyone else expects of them to look like. Add on to that, playing your instrument in a somewhat comfortable manner.
The latest PR shout outs…
The Choke – NYC Garage punks. With sick flair. Reminds me of Blondie.
Desiree Bassett – Ashford, CT Rock & Blues artist. At 18, she is conquering the world one guitar solo at a time. Reminds me of Bonnie Raitt with a little Lita Ford.
Since beginning Jukebox Heroines over a year ago, I receive daily emails in my inbox from PR agencies, publicists, and marketers informing me of the latest new musician sensations. Awesome! Especially if the press releases are actually for female artists. I get tons of these a week, and honestly I do not have the time to review each artist (as much as I would love to!) There are so many amazing women/girls/ladies out there doing such amazing things!
So, in an effort to help those upcoming artists, I will review what I can, but when I cannot, or I am swamped with PR, I will give what I call the PR shout out. This “You Outta Know” segment will give the name and a quick tag line about the musician/band in question. This will at least provide a little bit of press for the artist, and give you, the readers a chance to discover new music. Not too bad I must say!
Therefore, please enjoy the first installment of “You Outta Know” below:
Ana Calvi – Haunting, playful 60s style pop. If you like vintage sounds with fuzzy rock inspiration, look no farther. Reminds me of Grace Slick.
Check out a review of the latest release by The Pipettes “Earth vs. the Pipettes” via SPIN.
Bitchtapes covers the ladies of country music via Bitch Magazine.
Catch up with Liz Phair and her 3 part interview with Filter Magazine.
Loretta Lynn‘s come along way since “The Pill” but hasn’t lost any of her conviction via NPR.
New Avril Lavigne album soon….if her record label quits with the BS via Billboard.
Janelle Monae performs for Minnesota Public Radio “The Current” and tears it up via NPR.
Listen to the new Ladytron track “Ace of Hz” via Pitchfork.
Reba McEntire….Country Queen influences a new generation of female country artists via Seattle Times.